


Dear Hero Imprisoned

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: A famous prison pen pal, Alana is basically like you have got to be kidding me, Epistolary adventures, Gen, Hanners get a prison pen pal, Hannibal at the BSHCI, Hannibal in Love, Hannibal just wants a friend, Like peas in a vain pod, Post-Episode: s03e07 Digestivo, Prisoner Hannibal Lecter, Who is the vainer more dramatic one, letter writing, stay tuned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if Morrissey and Hannibal became prison pen pals?  Oh, the vanity.  A somewhat companion piece to the cracky <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6024883/chapters/14919034">Such a Heavenly Way to Die</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Hero Imprisoned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Weconqueratdawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weconqueratdawn/gifts).



> This fictional satirical work plays with the musical timelines. A lot of lines in the letters are actual Moz quotes. The best part is, the Moz and Hannibal quotes are _SO_ interchangeable it was hard to keep straight who said what. 
> 
> The title comes from the song [The Last of the Famous International Playboys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDSCvN2q8ug).

**Prologue**  
_You're not right in the head_  
_and nor am I_  
_and this is why_  
_I like you_

"I Like You" by Morrissey

**+++**

Even though Alana Bloom had emphatically stated to her staff and board of trustees that reading Hannibal Lecter’s mail was just “part of her responsibilities” and nothing more, she damn well knew that it gave her a thrill to look through his personal correspondence. Did it irk him? Yes, she was certain of it. And for that reason alone, she relished reading letters addressed to him even if they were from misguided followers, creepy idolizers, lonely hearts, and good old fashioned sickos. Still, when one particular letter came in -- she stopped to check its authenticity. 

The return address was in Los Angeles. His name was there -- clear as day. Could it be coincidence that another Steven P. Morrissey had written, or had Morrissey finally flipped his lid when he decided to write to Hannibal the Cannibal Lecter.

**+++**

[Bernadette](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6665356) came to Hannibal’s cell with mail in hand, “Good afternoon, Doctor Lecter.” 

“And a good afternoon to you, Ms. Bernadette. I hope you are having a lovely day.”

“Well, it’s definitely improved now,” she said with a wink. “I have your mail for you, Doctor.” She slipped the bundle of mail in the cell drawer. 

“Thank you, Ms. Bernadette.”

Hannibal looked through the mail with his usual ambivalence. He knew that if a letter had arrived from Will, he would have been able to tell immediately from Bernadette’s body language. Fan mail, from obsequious dullards who did not understand him at all but believed they did, was tedious more than anything. Occasionally, a mildly humorous letter would find his way to him (he did hold a certain fondness for cannibal puns) but for the most part his mail was quite the bore.

That is until he reached this one particular letter from Los Angeles from a Steven P. Morrissey. The name rang a bell, though Hannibal wasn’t certain why. The stationery seemed like nothing out of the ordinary: a thick cream-colored stock; the letter inside was on stationery with an embossed monogram which read _sMp_. He lift the letter to nose and took a whiff. It smelled faintly of gladioli and smog. Gladioli...Steven P. Morrissey...no. It couldn’t be? _Could_ it?

This day was taking a most unusual and interesting detour. He sat down at his desk and began to read...

**+++**

> Dear Doctor Lecter,
> 
> The other day I was sitting on my balcony contemplating life and contemplating death and quite frankly, neither one particularly appealed to me. Everything seemed so incredibly banal and dull, and then I came across a newspaper article (because one should always read a real newspaper) on you and the “work” you have done. 
> 
> After the initial shock and horror -- I am a vegan, after all -- I was struck by the originality and pride you took in your work. Once you move beyond the macabre aspect of it all, it really is quite beautiful. I read that you did this to people you considered rude. I can appreciate that. Dullness to me, is what rudeness is to you: an anathema; something to be rid of at all costs. I'm not very good at being dull, so I could never fit in with society at large.
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts on rudeness, dullness, whatever other "ness" interests you. It is rare to find someone that you can consider worthy of conversation.
> 
> Farewell from Los Angeles, which is where I normally live - if you can call it normal living.
> 
> Most sincerely,
> 
> Steven Patrick Morrissey
> 
> P.S. You may call me Morrissey.

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will have two letters, except for this one. These two yahoos have given me plenty of material.
> 
> Come say hi and visit me [on Tumblr](http://wrathofthestag.tumblr.com/).


End file.
